Whenever I start a relationship, friends, relatives and anyone with a voice feel free to inquire about the future. Here I am trying to enjoy the moment, and all I hear is, "Is he the one?"

I can't exactly remember fielding these questions when I was in high school. So I guess being of "marrying age" opens me up to the pressures of playing the mating -- rather than dating -- game.

To be honest, it's hard not to think about the future when I find someone I like. On more than a few occasions, I've mentally tried on a certain guy's last name and even named a few imaginary children.

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Yet I know many of the men I've found are more playmate than mate. And as I watch friends dismiss men and women who aren't "the one," I wonder where to draw the line.

Just because someone lacks lifetime potential, does that mean you shouldn't date him?

Actually, quite the opposite.

The idea of one person for each of us is romantic, yet very limiting. Unless you are desperate to marry as soon as possible, focusing on the future means you risk losing present pleasure.

As you worry about the fact that he doesn't measure up to your vision of a husband, you may be missing out on how good a boyfriend or lover he is.

But many of us single folk seem obsessed with the idea of "wasting time." As if dating Mr. Almost Right will mean we will never meet Mr. Right.

My friend Tim makes a point to let go of something uncertain, because he sees it -- or her -- as dead weight. He recently dumped a girlfriend whom he considered his best friend because he didn't see her in his life 10 years from now. Like many people, he doesn't want to lose any time with the wrong person.

It is natural to feel some sense of urgency, especially considering a relationship is an investment and you only have one life. Why put your time and energy into a fruitless proposition?

Because you will inevitably learn something. Unless they are miserable and abusive, relationships, if anything, are worthwhile in that they are educational experiences.

There may be no little plastic groom that even closely resembles Ken for your wedding cake, but he may be the one who shows you the best way to communicate.

And as you learn about yourself, you may very well be preparing for the relationship that will seal the deal.

We all know when someone is clearly not worthy of another date, call or even acknowledgement of any form. In that case, there is nothing wrong with calling the whole thing off. And it doesn't hurt to end it when the other half is applying unnecessary pressure to mate.

But if you're not ready for marriage or even considering it, it can still be worthwhile to date for the sake of experience and even temporary joy.

Like one boyfriend used to tell me, it doesn't matter what happens in the relationship's future, just as long as you get the most out of the time you have together.

Maybe I haven't just one yet, or maybe I realize that life is more fun -- and more realistic -- with more than one. Considering the divorce rate, my hope is that there are a few more options out there if things don't turn out as planned.

In the meantime, I am not willing to let the unknown future overshadow the good times I share with my current beau. There may come a day when our futures coincide, or not at all. But I am not willing to call it quits until I know either way.

So open your mind to the possibility of one for now, one for later, and hopefully one for forever. Enjoy your date even if he or she doesn't make the ultimate cut.

Laura Lewis is an adventurous 20-something who knows how to make the most of being single. Her column appears every other Thursday.